Lisa: 'Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?' Homer: 'Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.'

I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!

You toyed with my heart, like it was a toy heart. (Lisa Simpson)

Back in high school, I wrote a novel about a character named Bart Simpson. I thought it was a very unusual name for a kid at the time. I had this idea of an angry father yelling "Bart," and Bart sounds kind of like bark - like a barking dog.

I draw a weekly comic strip called Life in Hell, which is syndicated in about 250 newspapers. That's what I did before The Simpsons, and what I plan to do for the rest of my life.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.