I draw a weekly comic strip called Life in Hell, which is syndicated in about 250 newspapers. That's what I did before The Simpsons, and what I plan to do for the rest of my life.

First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.

Basically, everything I try to do is to present an alternative to what somebody else is doing.

People go into cartooning because they're shy and they're angry. That's when you're sitting in the back of a classroom drawing the teacher.

NEVER! Never, Marge! I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?!

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson