You toyed with my heart, like it was a toy heart. (Lisa Simpson)

I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?

I think when 'The Simpsons' first came on, there was an uproar. People got used to it. They realized the show's really funny, it's got a heart, so I think it's pretty safe.

Welcome to Suckersville, man.

Cartooning is for people who can't quite draw and can't quite write. You combine the two half-talents and come up with a career.

Sometimes people try to read into my strip and find out what my state of mind is. And I can say if I'm in a good mood, generally the comic strip starts out in a good mood, but the punchline is very negative and sour.

Me fail English? That's unpossible.