American culture has a lot of great moustaches in its history. Mark Twain had a great moustache, Charlie Chaplin, Ben Turpin ... but Zappa, he's got the best moustache in American history. Got the moustache, right, and he's got that little thing on his chin, I think it's called an imperial, that is, like, the coolest thing. That's like one of the great icons of the twentieth century.

Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.

Welcome to Suckersville, man.

I went to Bali, and I was in a small village, and somebody who was with me showed a woman a little figurine of Bart and asked: 'Do you know who this is?' And she said: 'Mickey Mouse.'

Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.

First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.