Nine times out of 10, women don't want to fix a problem, they just want to be understood. I'll never get that.

I gravitate towards sort of broken characters who try to be better people.

I never really thought of myself as a physical comedian. But when I was a kid, I used to, you know, pretend to trip over things to make girls laugh in school and stuff like that. So I kind of learned how to fall without hurting yourself.

If I hadn't had the experience of being famous, I would have searched for it my whole life. I would have just gone on and on trying to find it.

I need a woman to have a quirky sense of humor. There's a bunch of jokes I use, and if she doesn't get them, she's probably not for me.

I loved playing Chandler. I grew up playing that part.

I'm making plans to go away for a month to focus on my sobriety and to continue my life in recovery. Please enjoy making fun of me on the world wide web.