I am fine with the fact that some of my hair is gray. If it was all gray overnight, that would be a scary thing.

I have never really lived with anyone in my adult years. I just read my sports ticker. And 50 Shades of Grey.

After I got my first laugh on stage, I was hooked.

Nine times out of 10, women don't want to fix a problem, they just want to be understood. I'll never get that.

The thing is, if I don't have sobriety, I don't have anything.

Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I dont talk about it too much in the press is because it isnt funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesnt seem right.

Women always think that I'm Chandler, so if I don't joke around for half an hour they think that something's wrong. Then I explain that I don't have comedy writers scripting everything I'm saying at this particular dinner.