Your nervous system can't tell real failure from imagined failure.
Begin to imagine what the desirable outcome would be like. Go over these mental pictures and delineate details and refinements. Play them over and over to yourself.
To change a habit, make a conscious decision, then act out the new behavior.
Ignore past failures and forge ahead.
Times will change for the better when you change.
Emptiness is a symptom that you are not living creatively. You either have not goal that is important enough to you, or you are not using your talents and efforts in a striving toward an important goal.