I don't think in terms of results at all. I think: what next insanity can I shock the world with?

The egg cream is psychologically the opposite of circumcision--it pleasurably reaffirms your Jewishness.

Usually when a lot of men get together, it's called a war.

Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart.

You got to be brave. If you feel something, you've really got to risk it.

You often hear that people go into show business to find the love they never had when they were children. Never believe it! Every comic and most of the actors I know had a childhood full of love. Then they grew up and found out that in the grown-up world, you don't get all that love, you just get your share. So they went into show business to recapture the love they had known as children when they were the center of the universe.

Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.