Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

That's it baby, if you've got it, flaunt it.

Oh, I'm not a true genius. I'm a near genius. I would say I'm a short genius. I'd rather be tall and normal than a short genius.

A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan.

He who hesitates is poor.

When we got to our hotel rooms, mosquitoes as big as George Foreman were waiting for us. They were sitting in armchairs with their legs crossed.

I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.