We have the data to prove to men that gender equality is not a zero-sum game, but a win-win.

Guys constantly talk about pornography in two ways: as revenge and as reassurance. When you live in a world in which beautiful, sexy women are all around you, in the same classes, on the same athletic field, competing for the same jobs, then the pornographic world - the world in which women thrill to male sexual desire - reassures men that although they may feel "one down," they're still entitled to women's bodies.

The good news is that women's roles have changed so dramatically over the past three decades that women now expect to have careers, balance work and family, express their individual autonomy.

I think there is another choice for women; it involves challenging Guyland and supporting each other.

It's like what you might call Goldilocks' dilemma in the old fairy tale. Young men see women as "less than" or "better than," but never their equals. And studies indicate that equality is the best foundation for a healthy relationship.

Some of the worst elements of Guyland rest on the twin pillars of men's silence and women's compliance.

Ironically, survey after survey shows that married men are happier and healthier than unmarried men. Oh, and they also have more sex.