Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since "trump" means "triumph." One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison.

Many presidents have believed in God, but Donald Trump evidently believes that he is God.

Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick; Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.

If every witty thing that's said was true, Oscar Wilde, the world would worship You!

The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong; this explains why he can't relate to other people.

Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.

I lived as best I could, and then I died. Be careful where you step: the grave is wide.