Even Donald Trump's hairpiece is fed up with his insults and says it now supports Bernie Sanders. When Trump found out, he sobbed

Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to "hell" for having "impure thoughts."

When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better.

What do we get when the Donald exposes his enormous ass? A trump roast.

Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.

Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a new, improved version, the Gospel According to Trump. It reads: "I, Donald Trump, am God. Praise, worship, and adore Me as I do Myself. Then all shall be Great, as I am Great. The End."

Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them. But with his pixie-ish perm, Paul does not impress me as the gunslinger type. Rand Paul is the RuPaul of politics. He would do better to defend his right to carry an unregistered blow-dryer and curling irons.