When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology.

Toupée or not toupée for professional government: that is the hair-raising question created by Donald Trump's candidacy.

Trump claims he'd be the "best jobs president that God ever created." But isn't his claim to fame firing people?

Many presidents have believed in God, but Donald Trump evidently believes that he is God.

Even Donald Trump's hairpiece is fed up with his insults and says it now supports Bernie Sanders. When Trump found out, he sobbed

Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to "hell" for having "impure thoughts."

If every witty thing that's said was true, Oscar Wilde, the world would worship You!