When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology.

The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong; this explains why he can't relate to other people.

I lived as best I could, and then I died. Be careful where you step: the grave is wide.

Epigrams delight us into wisdom.

Perhaps love doesn't make the world go round, but it makes the bumpy ride worthwhile and provides a glorious destination.

Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since "trump" means "triumph." One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison.

How can the Bible be "infallible" when from Genesis to Revelation slavery is commanded and condoned, but never condemned?