I lived as best I could, and then I died. Be careful where you step: the grave is wide.

If every witty thing that's said was true, Oscar Wilde, the world would worship You!

Did evangelical Christians mistake Donald Trump's hairpiece for a halo, while ignoring the obvious signs that he worships Mammon?

If God is good half the Bible is libel.

If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.

Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to "hell" for having "impure thoughts."

C'm'on lefties! Admit that Trump has been very tough on China. He has been especially tough on Chinese kids who slave away in sweatboxes, making his clothing lines.