I lived as best I could, and then I died. Be careful where you step: the grave is wide.

Life's saving graces are love, pleasure, laughter ... wisdom, it seems, is for the Hereafter.

What do you call a comedian who runs for president? A trump card.

Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since "trump" means "triumph." One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison.

I lived as best I could, and then I died. Be careful where you step: the grave is wide.

Every political card played by Jeb Bush has been Trumped; every political note played by The Donald has been Trumpeted.

Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them. But with his pixie-ish perm, Paul does not impress me as the gunslinger type. Rand Paul is the RuPaul of politics. He would do better to defend his right to carry an unregistered blow-dryer and curling irons.