I lived as best I could, and then I died. Be careful where you step: the grave is wide.

Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo.

The slogan of the American Civil Rights Movement was "We shall overcome!" Donald Trump's new campaign slogan is "We shall overcomb!"

What do you call a comedian who runs for president? A trump card.

Abbesses' recesses are not for excesses!

Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent celebrity being berated, humiliated, then unceremoniously fired.

Trump claims he'd be the "best jobs president that God ever created." But isn't his claim to fame firing people?