And that's the way I have always lived, for the laughs – today. N-O-W. No Other Way.

When I open a refrigerator door and the light goes on, I want to perform.

Had I been brighter, the ladies been gentler, the Scotch been weaker, had the gods been kinder, had the dice been hotter, this could have been a one-sentence story: Once upon a time I lived happily ever after.

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.

I don't pick the roles. Your agent gets a call for you and you go and they all get together, everybody has fun at the reading, and they say, "There's chemistry here." So that's how it happens.

You always pass failure on the way to success.

God bless the universe, God bless Japanese, Chinese, Indians, all of them and let's have peace.