When I open a refrigerator door and the light goes on, I want to perform.

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.

. . . children - not kids. Kids are goats. I've always spoken of my children as children.

You always pass failure on the way to success.

Women liked me because I made them laugh.

Clark Gable once said to me, "'Acting school?' [If you go,] I'll kill ya!"

I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.