I'm 74 but I feel like I'm 35. And it isn't work. You know what it is? It's fun, absolute fun. I don't know many people who are fortunate enough to be in a business like that.

. . . children - not kids. Kids are goats. I've always spoken of my children as children.

And that's the way I have always lived, for the laughs – today. N-O-W. No Other Way.

Had I been brighter, the ladies been gentler, the Scotch been weaker, had the gods been kinder, had the dice been hotter, this could have been a one-sentence story: Once upon a time I lived happily ever after.

Nowadays, it is fashionable for agents to be out. When you call them, they're always "out." It's in, you see, to be out. If they're in, they're out. So, they're always out. That way, they'll be in.

I'll never make another Hardy picture . . . I'm fed up with these dopey, insipid parts. How long can a guy play a jerk kid? I'm 27 years old. I've been divorced once and separated from my second wife. I have two boys of my own. I spent almost two years in the army. It's time Judge Hardy went out and bought me a double-breasted suit.

I'm 74 but I feel like I'm 35. And it isn't work. You know what it is? It's fun, absolute fun. I don't know many people who are fortunate enough to be in a business like that.