To those seniors, and especially elderly veterans like myself, I want to tell you this: You are not alone, and you having nothing to be ashamed of. If elder abuse happened to me, it can happen to anyone. I want you to know that you deserve better.

If I ever complain to an agent about anything, he always has a pained look on his face, like, "How can you be so ungrateful? Why, Mick, I just named my yacht after you!"

Hey kids! Let's put on a show!

I've been coming back like a rubber ball for years.

I've been short all my life. And if anyone wonders what my dying wish will be, they can stop wondering. That will be easy. I'll just tell them, 'I'll have a short bier.'

God bless the universe, God bless Japanese, Chinese, Indians, all of them and let's have peace.

A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short.