The neurotic doesn't know how to cope with his emotional bills; some he keeps paying over and over, others he never pays at all.

The hardest-learned lesson: that people have only their kind of love to give, not our kind.

One day you are an apprentice, and everybody's pet; the next, you are coldly expected to deliver. There is never sufficient warning that the second day is coming.

People find it hard to be both comic and serious, though life manages it easily enough.

The plague of government is senile delinquency.

I wish I'd said it first, and I don't even know who did: The only problems that money can solve are money problems.

Neurotics think of the past with resentment, and the future with dread; the present just doesn't exist.