If you see in your children most of your own faults, you have failed as a parent, but succeeded as a neurotic.

Men gossip less than women, but mean it.

All love is probationary, a fact which frightens women and exhilarates men.

There's nothing wrong with most men's egos that the kowtowing of a headwaiter can't cure.

If only we could be old and sick while we're still young and healthy enough to put up with it!

Naturally, the neurotic wants you to love him twice as much, for he's going to cut it in half anyway.

The neurotic lies awake at night, composing letters to those he hates. He seldom thinks of dropping a line to those he loves.