My problem with being in New York City is that you really can't make a living as a comedian. You can, but you have to also take writing jobs, which means less stage time.

I've been selfish over the years, and other people who have made it have too, but I can only speak for myself.

I think serious situations actually make for the best kind of belly laughs. But theyre also the hardest to convert into comedy at the outset.

I like 'Donnie Darko;' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep.

Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.

You need to know what doesn't work to know what works. It's especially true in improv and stand-up.

I thought, Hey, maybe these people shouldn't be making up holidays to drink more. Maybe if they drank less they might be able to title their newspaper articles more specifically. For example, I would title this last article "Drunk Driver Hits Drunk Walker Drunkety-Drunk I'm So Drunk."