Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? ... Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.

I wouldn't wish any specific thing for any specific person - it's none of my business. But the idea that a four-year degree is the only path to worthwhile knowledge is insane. It's insane.

Happiness does not come from a job. It comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs. Many people today resent the suggestion that they’re in charge of the way they feel.Those people are mistaken. That was a big lesson and I learned it several hundred times before it stuck. What you do, who you’re with, and how you feel about the world around you, is completely up to you.

I rarely do anything on the show by myself. I dont want it to be about me. Squatting in the sewer in San Francisco, its really hot, were up to our knees in a river of crap. Rats and cockroaches are all over. I would never, ever walk into that environment, except for the fact that the guy who does it every day is squatting next to me.

Happiness comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that's consistent with those beliefs.

Always flat front. You've got to be deeply suspicious of a man who consciously goes with pleats. Why would you do that?

Not all knowledge comes from college.