People seem to be having these awesome sex lives and I'm just trying to find a life partner to go apple picking with. What's wrong with me?

I just have my characters say my controversial opinions and then hide behind them.

I don't need marriage. I don't need anyone to take care of all my needs and desires. I can take care of them myself now.

My mother is more of an adviser. I followed everything she did when I was younger, because I looked up to her so much.

Also, chubby people can never truly pull off ethereal the same way skinny people can never be jolly.

Hey, a disclaimer about me: I’m rude.

In real life, shouldn't a wedding be an awesome party you throw with your great pal, in the presence of a bunch of your other friends? A great day, for sure, but not the beginning and certainly not the end of your friendship with a person you can't wait to talk about gardening with the for the next forty years.