I honestly have no idea what's going on anymore. I just need to find something I can hit. (Shaun Mason)

Last guy I was interested in turned out to be an incestuous necrophiliac," she said. "So no, not currently dating, and definitely not doing any more shopping in the 'sociopath' category

Nothing says "deeply in mourning" like canapés and free beer.

I've seen that mixture of resignation and hopelessness before; its usually in my mirror.

Pronouns are only useful when you combine them with other words. I have a few I can give you, if you're at a loss.

There's no such thing as a normal life. Some lives are just more interesting than others, and we shouldn't judge people for being boring.

I’m also fascinated by the difference between terror and fear. Fear says, “Do not actually put your hand in the alligator,” while terror says, “Avoid Florida entirely because alligators exist.