Some people say I have issues. I say those people need to expand their horizons because I don't have issues, I have the Library of Congress

At least you know that you're crazy. That means you have the potential to recover.

I like to think of myself as a reasonable man. But I have buried too many friends in the too-recent past, and I have seen too many lies go unquestioned, and too many questions go unasked. There is a time when even reasonable men must begin to take unreasonable actions. To do anything else is to be less than human.

Well, that’s that, then. We’re all going to die. Charming.

You'd challenge me and lose. You know it, I know it, but you'd still do it. Sometimes your sense of honor confuses the hell out of me.

Whoever authorized the evolution of the spiders of Australia should be summarily dragged out into the street and shot.

If anything attacked us, we could just panic at it until it went away.