Growing up in my family meant ambushes on your birthday, crossbows for Christmas, and games of dodge ball where the balls were occasionally rigged to explode. It also meant learning how to work your way out of a wide variety of death traps. Failure to get loose on your own could lead to missing dinner, or worse, being forced to admit that you missed dinner because your baby sister had tied you to the couch. Again.

A proper lady should be able to smile pretty, wear sequins like she means it, and kick a man's ass nine ways from Sunday while wearing stiletto heels. If she can't do that much, she's not trying hard enough.

I really don’t think you should put your hand inside the manticore, dear. You don’t know where it’s been.” –Enid Healy

Crazy gets all the knives.

In my defense, the corpse was entirely unexpected.

The people who have the power want you scared. They want you walking around paralyzed by the notion that you could die at any moment.

His idea of traffic safety is going too fast for the cops to catch up.