The difference between the truth and a lie is that both of them can hurt, but only one will take the time to heal you afterward.

Any man who doesn't believe in carrying weapons on a first date is not a man worth knowing.

No one wants to set out to be a hero, and discover that they've been a villain all along.

Repetition is sometimes the best way to deal with the Luideag: just keep saying the same thing over and over until she gets fed up and gives you what you want. All preschoolers have an instinctive grasp of this concept, but most don’t practice it on immortal water demons. That’s probably why there are so few disembowelments in your average preschool.

A martyr's just a casualty with really good PR.

No one should be posing for duck-lipped selfies with the plaque of the dead. That wouldn't be right.

When Rome burned, the emperor's cats still expected to be fed on time.