The embarrassment of a situation can, once you are over it, be the funniest time in your life. And I suppose a lot of my comedy comes from painful moments or experiences in life, and you just flip them on their head.

Manicures: Which are basically just holding hands with a stranger for forty-five minutes whilst listening to Enya.

I never admitted what I wanted to do for a career to anyone until I was 26. I wish I'd piped up at 18.

I'm very much in denial that I can't dance. I really go for it, which is almost more embarrassing.

My Dear Reader Chum, a very hearty hello to you. What an honour and privilege it is to have you perusing my written word.

Imagine for a moment playing by children's rules. If you were at a party and saw someone you liked, you could just go and hold their hand. If they then try to kiss you and you don't like it, you can push them over. If your aunty gives you a Christmas present that you're not too keen on, you can throw it back in her face and burst into tears. You can gallop freely. You can skip. Children have got it right. The tragedy is, none of this is permissible as an adult. Although one thing surely is – and I'll bet you know what I'm going to say – that's right, the galloping. Such fun!

Look in the mirror and say, 'There is none other like you and for that reason alone you are beautiful.