When we were on acid, we would go into the woods, because there was less chance that you would run into an authority figure. But we ran into a bear. My friend Duane was there, raising his right hand, swearing to help prevent forest fires. He told me, "Mitchell, Smokey is way more intense in person!"

I saw a guy juggling chain saws, it was cool, unless something needed to be sawed down, then it's annoying.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I went to a tent store. "What kind of tent do you need?" "Circus."

I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.

Magicians disappear all the time, but as soon as a regular person does it, everyone is all scared. "Tom's gone!" "Is he a magician?" "No." "Then let's print up some flyers!"

I mumble a lot when im off stage, so a lot of times when im with a friend i'll say something and he'll be like what, and i'll say it again and he'll be like what, and i'll say it again and he'll still be like what, so now he's got me yellin. Man that tree is far away