Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!

If you drink O'Douls, you don't drink; but if you drink 20 O'Douls in a half hour, then you're a non-alcoholic.

I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying.

Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it. One day I'm gonna, though. You bet your ass, I will have a beret on. That's ridiculous, but it's true. I always fight with wearing a beret.

I got an ant farm; them fellas didn't grow sh*t.

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.