Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!

I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year.

Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!

Come on 'long prosperous life!'

I miss the $2 bill, 'cause I can break a two. $20, no. $10, no. $5, maybe, $2? Oh yeah. What do you need, a one and another one?

I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add "er".

I am wearing a vest. If I had no arms, it would be a jacket.