Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!

I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle."

My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Darn! Seven. Not even close. I need more dice."

Cavities are made by sugar. So if you need to dig a hole, then lay down some candy bars!

I was going to get my teeth whitened, but I said, "I'll just get a tan instead."

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, "this is not a library!" "OK! I will talk louder, then!"