I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick's been acting fishy! I need to buy a safe that looks like a Spray 'N Wash can. "Hey, Mitch, can I use the Spray 'N Wash?" "Yeah, if you want to spray your shirt with documents!"

I played in a death-metal band. People either loved us or hated us. Or they thought we were OK.

If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!"

If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.

I play the guitar. I taught myself how to play the guitar, which was a bad decision... because I didn't know how to play it, so I was a shitty teacher. I would never have went to me.

I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something picketing, but I don't know how to show it.