My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'
I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.
I had a paper route when I was a kid. I was supposed to go to 2,000 houses. Or two dumpsters.
I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number. It started with 555.
It's hard to fight when you're in a gazebo.
A dog came to my door, so I gave him a bone, the dog took the bone into the back yard and buried it. I'm going to go plant a tree there, with bones on it, then the dog will come back and say, "Shoot! It worked! I must distribute these bones equally for I have a green paw!"