I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

I like to smoke a pipe, because it's the punch line indicator. Whenever I take a hit of the pipe, you should be laughing.

I had a Velcro wallet in a casino. That sound annoyed the hell out of me. Whenever I lost money, and I opened the wallet, it was like the sound of my addiction.

Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it. One day I'm gonna, though. You bet your ass, I will have a beret on. That's ridiculous, but it's true. I always fight with wearing a beret.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

I thought I'd go to a craft fair, and there would be a jar of jellybeans there - "Guess how many jellybeans are in this jar, and win a prize". Aw, come on, man, let just me have some. I'll tell you what, guess how many jellybeans I want! If you guessed a handful, you are right.

I can't eat spaghetti. There's too many of them.