All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
I'd hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat.
If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube.
If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and somebody offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Inside is a note that says, "Say thanks!"