I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.

I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said, "Screw it. Cut 'em up!"

When I was on acid, I would see things like beams of light and I would hear sounds that sounded an awful lot like car horns.

If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and somebody offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Inside is a note that says, "Say thanks!"

I want to be a rebellious McDonald's owner. Cheeseburgers... NOPE... we got spaghetti!

I like the public hot-tub at the hotels. I like when a guy is already in there, I say, "Hey, do you mind if I join you?" Then I go turn the heat up, and I add some carrots and onions.

Swiss Cheese is a rip-off It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss