I like the public hot-tub at the hotels. I like when a guy is already in there, I say, "Hey, do you mind if I join you?" Then I go turn the heat up, and I add some carrots and onions.

They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.

Chicago is known as the Windy City, and Montana is called the Big Sky State, so I think that we should somehow combine the two to create the ultimate kite-flying experience.

I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle."

If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly.

Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.

I went to a record store, they said they specialized in hard-to-find records. Nothing was alphabetized!