I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.

My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light a bunch of koala bears scatter. But I don't want 'em to, you know, I'm like "Hey, hold on, fellas. Let me hold one of you. And feed you a leaf."

People ask me for my autograph after a show. I'm not famous, I think they're messing with me. I think they're trying to make me late for something.

I tried to freshen up a room, so I held a Certs in front of a fan.

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other way to take it in. 'You're not special. That's how I receive it too... I tried to taste it, but it did not work'.

Foosball screwed up my perception of soccer. I though you had to kick the ball and then spin around and around. I can't do a back flip, much less several simultaneously with two other guys.

No, I was just good at holding ice cream cones.