I got a hotel room at New York New York in Las Vegas and I was very happy. They've got that rollercoaster encircling the entire premises, just like Manhattan.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I met this girl, she was an actress, and she gave me her number. It started with 555.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist. That's not a full joke there! It's filler.

I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean. I would imagine a vodka bottle is really drunk.

I would like it if four people did a cartwheel all at once... so I can make a cart.