I got a hotel room at New York New York in Las Vegas and I was very happy. They've got that rollercoaster encircling the entire premises, just like Manhattan.

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall.

A snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.

I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.

I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add "er".

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!