As an adult, I'm not supposed to go down slides. So if I'm at the top of a slide, I have to pretend that I got there accidentally. "How the hell did I get up here? I guess I have to slide down. Whee!" That's what you say when you're having fun. You refer to yourself and some other people.
Mitch HedbergI like to smoke a pipe, because it's the punch line indicator. Whenever I take a hit of the pipe, you should be laughing.
Mitch HedbergI used to drink wine. This girl asked me, "Doesn't wine give you a headache?" "Yeah, eventually, but the first and the middle part are amazing!"
Mitch Hedberg