If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.

I hate flossing, I wish I just had one long curvy tooth. They didn't have to make separations for me.

As an adult, I'm not supposed to go down slides. So if I'm at the top of a slide, I have to pretend that I got there accidentally. "How the hell did I get up here? I guess I have to slide down. Whee!" That's what you say when you're having fun. You refer to yourself and some other people.

Incubated. And then raised. And then beheaded. And then plucked. And then cut up. And then put on a grill. And then put on a bun. Damn, it's gonna take a while. I don't have time. Scrambled!

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

Knock on wood is a saying for good luck. I think that started when someone went to someone's door to see if someone was home. "I hope Joe's home, knock on wood!"

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.