I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube.

I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around.

I rented a car. I didn't really need one, I just wanted to make one less available. I wanted one businessman on the bus with no car.

If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.

If you're watching a parade, don't follow it. It never changes. If the parade is boring, run in the opposite direction. You will fast-forward the parade.

Hell, yeah! Meeting adjourned!

I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.