If you don't know a light bulb is a three-way light bulb, it messes with your head. You reach to turn it off, and it just gets brighter! That's the exact opposite of what I wanted you to do! So you turn the switch again, and it gets brighter once more! I will break you, light bulb!
Mitch HedbergWhen you open the elevator on the top floor of a building and the other guy doesn't get out, something is seriously wrong.
Mitch HedbergI want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add "er".
Mitch Hedberg