When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

Mitch's Pizzaria... this week's coupon: unlimited free pizza. Special Note: coupon not good at any of the Mitch's Pizza locations. Free pizza oven with purchase of a small Coke. Two-for Tuesday: buy one pizza, get one franchise free.

I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying.

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.

Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in threes. He has three apples left, I guess I can't have one. I wouldn't want to screw up his practice routine.

I am wearing a vest. If I had no arms, it would be a jacket.