If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly.

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!

If you don't know a light bulb is a three-way light bulb, it messes with your head. You reach to turn it off, and it just gets brighter! That's the exact opposite of what I wanted you to do! So you turn the switch again, and it gets brighter once more! I will break you, light bulb!

I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.

Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!

I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.

I would like to go fishing and catch a fish stick. That would be convenient. I could easily get a job at Mrs. Paul's.