I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean. I would imagine a vodka bottle is really drunk.
Mitch HedbergImagine if the headless horseman had a headless horse. That would be chaos. I would think that if you were the headless horseman's horse, you would be very confused. "I don't think this dude can see."
Mitch HedbergThe depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Mitch HedbergI went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle."
Mitch Hedberg