I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

A fly was very close to being called a land, because that's what it does half the time.

I like Kinko's, because they're open 24 hours. If it's 5 am and I decide I need two of something, I'm covered! Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, and then I think, "Oh, yeah. Kinko's. No problem. That will not remain singular."

Chicago is known as the Windy City, and Montana is called the Big Sky State, so I think that we should somehow combine the two to create the ultimate kite-flying experience.

I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

I had to take a physical to do this show. They had a lot of weird questions like, "Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?"