I was walking down the street with my friend and he said 'I hear music,' as though there's any other way to take it in. 'You're not special. That's how I receive it too... I tried to taste it, but it did not work'.

I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.

Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8?

I went to a record store, they said they specialized in hard-to-find records. Nothing was alphabetized!

The customer’s always right.

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said Certainly. He said Do I need to dial 9 I say Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick.

A snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.