I have an underwater camera just in case I crash my car into a river, and at the last minute I see a photo opportunity of a fish that I have never seen.

I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

I had to take a physical to do this show. They had a lot of weird questions like, "Have you ever tried sugar or PCP?"

I bought a scratch off lottery ticket, but then I accidentally spilled calamine lotion on it, so it did not need to be scratched. Shoot! I will not know if I have won!

Cavities are made by sugar. So if you need to dig a hole, then lay down some candy bars!

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

Well, I was lost but now I live here! I have severely improved my predicament!