It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa Where's my wallet But, hey this song is funky.
Mitch HedbergI played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying.
Mitch HedbergYou know when you see an advertisement for a casino, and they have a picture of a guy winning money? That's false advertising, because that happens the least. That's like if you're advertising a hamburger, they could show a guy choking. "This is what happened once."
Mitch Hedberg