I know people who believe in ghosts but donโt believe in themselves. Itโs kind of sad. Okay you donโt think youโll ever make it as a musician, but last night you saw a translucent caveman.
Mitch HedbergI would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
Mitch HedbergI bought a scratch off lottery ticket, but then I accidentally spilled calamine lotion on it, so it did not need to be scratched. Shoot! I will not know if I have won!
Mitch Hedberg