If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable.

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around.

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out.

I've got a wallet, it's orange. In case I wanna buy a deer. That doesn't make any sense at all.

I can't eat spaghetti. There's too many of them.