I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.
I tried to freshen up a room, so I held a Certs in front of a fan.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
The commercial for Diet Dr. Pepper says it tastes just like regular Dr. Pepper. Well, then they screwed up!
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait".
My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! Darn! Seven. Not even close. I need more dice."